Claudia's Birth Stories
Ice cream with everything
on top
Isabelle Esther's birth story
by Claudia E. Villeneuve
 "
Be prepared to lose this baby." Those were the
exact words my obstetrician used when sharing with
her my desire to have a vaginal birth at home, after
having had my first baby by Caesarean section. She
said my uterus scar would rupture. Of course I did
not believe her. Six years ago after a normal first
pregnancy, I was brimming with health as the due
date passed with no sign of labour. My obstetrician
booked me for an induction one Wednesday morning,
but the induction failed. By Thursday morning I had
a beautiful baby boy in my arms, but also a scalpel-sliced
uterus. It took me about six months to realize that
I was not happy with the way the birth was handled
and I began telling myself how needless that Caesarean
had been. Maureen Ellis, a midwife I met, told me
that postponing that realization protected me from
suffering while the birth was recent. It was emotional
detachment. The baby nor I were never in any danger
or distress, the Caesarean was just done because
the labour was not progressing which I blame on the
induction and other interventions. My life continued
on as it was until the day I found out I was pregnant
again. With the new pregnancy my survival instincts
kicked in and I thought: "I am not having another Caesarean,
no way José." Thus began my search for what
I later found out was called a VBAC or vaginal birth
after a Caesarean.
The frightful and fateful
meeting with the obstetrician, who told me to be prepared
to lose my baby, and who
had performed the first Caesarean, only served to
confirm my decision to give birth to my second child
at home
rather
than the hospital. Hospitals have scalpels and my
instincts screamed at me to have my baby as far away
from a scalpel
as possible. That is when I began attending the meetings
at the Edmonton VBAC Association and at ASAC. I also
began reading Birth Issues and books like The VBAC
Handbook.
My husband Norm was not sold on the homebirth idea
right away. In fact, he had me promise to have a
hospital birth.
In the following weeks every time we talked about
the birth
location I would end up in tears because I felt he
did not understand me. I told him about my resistance
to
'give up' my body to the medical establishment that
had failed
me. Eventually, Norm reconsidered and supported my
choices but had only one demand: "If you are getting a midwife,
then get the best one in the city." This proved to
be an easy demand to meet. Noreen Walker was my first and
only interview for a midwife. She seemed convinced that
I could give birth at home just fine and that a uterine
rupture due to the Caesarean scar was not an issue. She
even specialized in waterbirths, an idea that by then I
had fallen in love with. Noreen commented on my sunny disposition
and my radiant self-confidence. She said I would do very
well. Finally I had a supporter.
The fact that she had
attended over 2,000 births helped to seal the deal
with my husband. Now I was ready to play the game. I absolutely
told everyone I knew that I was having a homebirth
to avoid
a Caesarean and give the baby a gentle birth. Every
time I explained my arguments against Caesareans they became
more daring. My boldest one was when my dentist asked
what
was wrong with them, and I said: "It is like deciding
to slice open the cheek to extract a tooth instead of simply
opening your mouth. It does not make sense." And that
is how I made it through the pregnancy: envisioning this
VBAC dream coming true. My attitude was totally positive;
the execution was still to come. The pain, Oh the pain.
One week after I finished working at my engineering job,
early labour began. The due date was still another week
away. It caught me by surprise. That night I stayed up
late preparing a poster chock-full of motivational phrases
that I began collecting months before from the birth books
and magazines I had read. These were some of my favourites: "I
have got the will of a sorceress." "Wear something
pretty, eat something healthy, smile, you are having a
baby today." "Smile through your perineum." "When
uninterrupted, 95% of births are uneventful." "I
did not have one
pain I did not love." But my absolute
favourite motivational phrase was: "A healthy baby
is the ice cream, the VBAC is the hot fudge, a homebirth
is the whipped cream, and the waterbirth is the cherry
on top." I wanted my ice cream baby, with everything
on top.
The next day I still had
early labour and managed to attend my baby shower. That
evening the contractions
intensified and I began to realize the magnitude
of the pain. Tears started to roll. We called Noreen and
she sent
her assistant Marlo to provide support while she
finished with another birth at the Stony Plain clinic.
I changed
positions many times to try to deal with the pain
in my back and lower abdomen. Pretty soon I began to ask
for
the pool, since all I wanted was to get in the water
to help me deal. Noreen came and set up the pool at around
7 a.m. on April 7, 2003. Serious labour began but
the baby
turned out to be still twelve hours away. Mentally
and emotionally I had to let my body work at opening up,
but
I had never made it to this point of advanced labour
before which caused me to lose my cool. Only Norm's magical
hands
pressing my aching lower back brought me relief.
I remember saying over and over: "Why does it have to hurt so
much, this is ridiculous." My friend Ana came
to help us and she held my hand for hours. She was
pregnant too
and her experience with her three previous babies
was a definite bonus.
Unfortunately, Ana only
got to see me at
my worst and had to leave before the birth to pick
up her children. She missed a miraculous transformation
inside
me. I was at 6 cm dilation, four short, when I decided
to take charge. I asked my midwife and my husband
to leave me completely alone in the pool and to be
very quiet. I
had to reach the depths of my soul to come to the
realization that the pain of the contractions was
unstoppable, unless
. . . I gave birth. Bingo! I had forgotten that the
baby was the goal. I then began to pray to God to
give me strength.
I asked Him to give birth to this baby Himself because
I could not do it. At this magical point I unknowingly
surrendered to Mother Nature by transferring the
control to God. It worked like a charm. In the quietness
of my
home I closed my eyes and stopped my loud moans,
which gave way to a peaceful state in which I managed
to sleep
for two hours in the pool. The sensation of pushing
began to get stronger and stronger. Noreen roused
me from my
sleep to ask me to change positions in the pool and
allow her to check my dilation. I had reached total
effacement
(cervix was thin) but the dilation (cervix opening)
was at 7 cm. I could not believe I was so close and
yet so far. Noreen manually handled the cervix and
along with
my pushing, helped me reach full dilation. She could
see the baby's head and mentioned it was not too
big. Bless
her, I hung on to that positive statement and began
to push. My husband Norm held me from behind and
I pushed
onto his hands. I was so strong I almost took this
big man and pulled him into the pool with me. The
baby's head
began to slide down which felt marvelous, way better
than the contractions. I visualized the baby's forehead
sliding
out and then the ears. When the head came out, I
stopped and asked for my five-year-old son Nicholas
to come and
watch.
My 15-year-old cousin Diana
was entertaining him somewhere else in the house. They
both came and
managed
to see the baby's body slide out into the water.
The contractions stopped immediately and relief washed
over me. Noreen scooped
the baby out into my arms. It was all over. I had
achieved my dream. The integrity of my Caesarean
scar was never
an issue. . when uninterrupted, 95% of the births
are uneventful. Boy, that is so right. In the aftermath,
we were caught
up in the magical moment: I kept staring at this
beautiful and serene baby girl with water up to her
chin; Norm and
my  cousin
Diana were quietly moved to tears; my son kept saying "the baby is very cute, the baby is very cute;" and
Noreen, well Noreen had more work to do checking
the health of both of us. We named our VBAC baby
Isabelle
Esther.
Thank you to all my helpers and supporters. Thank
you, Sant Ji, God.
Claudia E. Villeneuve is a civil engineer with a
masters degree in construction management, born in
Colombia.
She plans to continue her writing on vaginal birth
after Caesareans.
She lives in Edmonton with her husband and two children.
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