Shannon's
Birth Story
 A
wonderful thing was happening to us we were about
to become parents. It seemed like it would be the
most special time in our life. Little did we know
how much it would change our lives?
We were told that our baby was large and that it
would be best to induce early so that we would not
run into any complications. Things went downhill
from the moment we stepped into the hospital. We
had officially stepped onto the road of intervention.
There was not much we could do about it we trusted
the doctor to know what was best for us. They had
all the vast knowledge of how a women’s body
worked.
We were told that my cervix was too small and the
baby was too big and that I had an infection and
the baby had to be taken as soon as possible or something
awful would happen. What! We didn’t want anything
to happen to our baby. So like little sheep we obeyed
and did exactly what the doctor said would be safe
for our baby. If they had left things alone my body
would have done what it needed to do to birth a large
baby. A women does not grow a baby too big to birth
(After all God designed our bodies did he not).
She was our beautiful rolly polly baby, our little
butterball. She was considered premature because
she had some breathing problems and she had not acquired
a sucking action. The nurses had given her sugar
water and formula so when she was brought to me she
was not hungry and would not breastfeed well. Needless
to say breastfeeding did not go well and for me this
was worse then having the cesarean. Everybody I knew
could breastfeed why couldn’t I. Laressa was
such an easy going baby and this helped ease the
pain of not having a vaginal birth and not being
able to breastfeed. I loved my little girl but I
did not love how she had to come into this world.
I did not love how the doctors had decided to play
God. I did not realize till 5 years later that I
had suffered from PPD (Post Partum Depression).
We found out we were pregnant just as we were moving
away from family. I was unhappy that we were moving
but I thought this could prove to be a good situation.
A new doctor may mean a better outcome. That was
not meant to be. (God had a wonderful plan).
I decided that this time I needed some support on
breastfeeding and went to a La Leche League meeting.
They were very helpful and gave me books to read
on breastfeeding and they also gave me a few books
on VBAC. I read them but I still was not convinced
that I could give birth vaginally. I went into my
36 week prenatal (yes the magic week 36 when doctors
show their real colors) and the doctor said he would
like to have an x-ray done to see if my cervix was
large enough for the baby to pass through. I decided
to take his advice and have the x-ray done. Unfortunately
they had discovered a leak in the roof at the x-ray
department and told me to come back the next day.
Well I went home and Mark and I decided it was not
necessary for me to have the x-ray. The next day
I went and told the doctor that I would not have
the x-ray. The doctor’s first plan to scare
us into a cesarean did not succeed. It was onto plan
B, which was to tell us that it would be easier to
schedule a cesarean so that we would not have to
come into the hospital in the middle of the night.
Easier for who? I still thought that it would be
best to go into labor on my own.
My water broke and we were told that we must come
in as soon as this happened. So off we went to
the hospital. After 12 hours nothing was happening,
and
I was afraid that if we waited any longer I would
get an infection like the first birth. (Later as
I was studying I realized that the first birth
the infection was caused by the doctors doing
too many
vaginal exams. This is a major no, no when your
water is broken.) We were also told that this
baby would
be over 10lbs. I still had the mentality that doctor
knows best and decided that things were just not
happening and we should have a cesarean. So off
we  went
to be cut again.
We had another beautiful baby girl. My mother’s
intuition was right the baby was not big. In fact
she was a pound smaller than our first. This made
me very sad as I probably could have birthed her
vaginally. But it was not meant to be (God still
had a wonderful plan) I just did not know it at the
time. The good thing about Mickayla’s birth
was she breastfed like a champ and this helped ease
my pain of not having a VBAC.
My quest to have a vaginal birth was so strong that
I devoured every piece of information I could get
my hands on. I became an internet guru. That is were
I found an organization called ICAN (International
Cesarean Awareness Network). I had finally found
some people who truly knew what I was going through.
People who listened and empathized with me and did
not tell me, “At least your baby is healthy.” This
is where I met up with Connie Banack again. I had
met her once before and God chose to put her in my
life once again. She pointed me to the VBAC Support
Group here in Edmonton. I went to a few meetings
and one night Cathy had a flyer about ASAC. They
were having a midwife come and talk about a Birthing
Center that was to open up in Stony Plain. I dragged
Mark to the meeting and we met Donna Gibbons. She
was a ray of hope maybe just maybe I could have my
VBAC. She actually believed that I could have a vaginal
birth if my body was left alone to do what it was
intended to do.
We had finally found someone to help us have a vaginal
birth now we just had to get pregnant. But that would
not happen for sometime. Month after month my heart
would break when I realized that we were not getting
pregnant. Mark was not as discouraged as I, “It
will happen if it is meant to be.” (God still
had a wonderful plan). I became obsessed with getting
pregnant. It was always on my mind. I read up on
ways to increase your chances of getting pregnant
and I tried all of them. There was many times were
I asked God to take the desire to have children away
from me because the disappointment was too much for
me to bear. After many attempts to ask God to take
this desire away I realized that this is not what
God wanted. He wanted Mark and I to have more children
but what he also wanted was for me to change my focus
to just wanting a VBAC to actually wanting another
child. Finally my desire to have a VBAC seemed less
important to me than have another baby. I had come
to the conclusion that I wanted to have another baby
the safest way possible. To me that meant getting
the right support people, trusting in my body and
trusting in God to point us in the right direction.
I also realized that if I had to have a c/s than
I would grieve over not having a vaginal birth but
I also would know that we had made the best possible
choices we could to ensure the safe arrival of this
little blessing.
In April 2002 we found out we were pregnant I was
so thrilled. I called Donna up and we booked an appointment
to see her at the Birthing Center. This was the first
time that I would see the Birthing Center. But something
just did not feel right. This was not where this
baby was to be born. I didn’t know where I
would birth this baby but it was not going to be
at this birthing center. Donna was great and I felt
so comfortable with her it was the location that
didn’t feel right. I continued to see Donna
because I still did not have a clue where else to
turn. I went into my 5 month prenatal and I felt
that something was about to happen. Donna told me
she was going to be taking a medical leave. I was
very sad that she would not be my midwife and sad
that we were going to have to decide on something
else but this could be a good thing. Donna told me
our options and said to talk it over with Mark. I
told Mark we have three options, we could stay at
the birth center and have a midwife who we may not
even meet until 3 weeks before the birth. We could
see the doctor who oversees the birth center and
have the baby in the hospital. Thirdly we could look
at having a homebirth. Mark’s words in regards
to homebirth were, “It is safe for anyone but
my wife. If this was our first birth and we did not
have 2 prior cesareans I may think about homebirth
as an option.”
Eventually Mark decided that I could go ahead and
talk to some midwives. I talked to a few on the phone
and made an appointment with Noreen Walker. Mark
was very impressed with her but still was not sold
on the idea of a homebirth. So for about a month
we did not talk about how or where this baby was
to be born. I was on pins and needles the entire
month not knowing what God had in mind for this baby.
It was at this time that I started to see a physiologist
to work through my birth experiences so I would not
be taking any emotional barriers into this next birth.
She helped me work through the process of having
to change caregivers so late in pregnancy. We also
worked on hypnobirthing. Which was something I had
recently researched and thought it might be a good
tool to use during labor. I had also asked a few
people in our church to pray that God would direct
us in the choices that we were making. My only thought
at this time was if Mark decided he was not comfortable
with a homebirth I felt that this was God closing
the door and saying this was not the best option
for us.
Going into my 6 month of pregnancy I finally decided
it was time for Mark and me to talk about this whether
he was ready or not. His answer to me was, “Yes
go ahead and plan a homebirth.” I knew then
that this was God’s wonderful plan. He had
been in control all along. If we had gotten pregnant
sooner we would have had this baby at the birth center
and that was not God’s plan. So I finally had
my answer as to why it took so long for us to get
pregnant.
The next few months were spent enjoying this pregnancy
and waiting in anticipation of meeting this special
little blessing from God. I continued to see the
physiologist to work through some last minute barriers.
I was also seeing my chiropractor to make sure
my body was in the best of shape to deliver.
Well we were nearing our due date and I was ready
for this baby to arrive. On January 10, 2003 we went
shopping and on the way home I had an allergic reaction.
I was worried that I might have to go to the hospital
because of the reaction but my body was able to fight
it off on its’ own. Contractions also started
that night around 8:00 but petered out around 2:00
in the morning. This was Mark’s last night
of work and he was worried about leaving me alone.
But the contractions were not that bad so I told
him to go. Throughout the next 3 days I had contractions
off and on but nothing too serious. On Tuesday evening
things started to pick up around 10:00. I really
thought this was it. I waited for a couple of hours
and called Mitzi (doula and friend) to come over.
She helped me work through the contractions. I had
really not experienced contractions before so I had
to get a handle on things and was able to do my focusing
that I had practiced with the psychologist. Things
slowed down in the wee hours of the morning so I
sent Mitzi home and I went to bed to get some rest.
I had contractions throughout the day but went about
my business and tried to ignore them. We sent the
girls to a friend’s house because I was having
a hard time having them there. Wednesday night things
picked up around the same time. This time I called
my Mitz and another friend who was going to help
out at the birth. I sat on the birth ball got up
and walked around but things did not seem to be progressing.
The contractions were very sporadic and were lasting
only 45 seconds long. I was getting very discouraged
and tired. Mitzi urged me to get into the tub to
see if it would help pick things up but it started
slowing down so around 4:30 I sent them home again.
I was very disappointed at this point. I thought
for sure that I would have had the baby by then.
Mark decided that he wanted to call the midwife because
I was not sure whether I was having a slow leak.
She came over at 12:00 pm on Thursday. We decided
at that point to have her check me to see if I had
been making any progress. This was the first VE I
had during this pregnancy. I was very worried that
I would be only 2 to 3 cms dilated because the contractions
had been so sporadic and were not lasting very long.
We were all surprised to find out that I was a good
7 cm. and she could stretch me to 8cm. Noreen (the
midwife) said well I guess I will be staying. We
called back our two doulas and said it was time to
have a baby. At 2:00 the pool was set up and I was
able to get in. I was so relaxed in the pool that
at times they made me get out because contractions
would slow down. So for the next 3 hours I labored
some in the tub, on the toilet and just walked around
the house. At around 5:00pm the midwife asked if
she could check me and I said that would be fine.
I was at 8cm when she checked so not much further
then when she checked me the first time. This was
very discouraging at this point. I know Noreen could
tell that I was getting tired as it had been two
days of contractions. We decided I should go upstairs
and try to rest. She came upstairs with me and tucked
me into bed. While rubbing my back she told me how
well I was doing and that if there was anything that
I needed to work through I should take this time
to rest and work through those last minute emotional
issues. This was very special to me as I know I would
not have received if I had gone to a doctor. I don’t
think I rested too much. Every time I lied down the
contractions seemed to pick up and I couldn’t
deal with them when lying down. At about 6:30pm I
decided that I needed to get things going so we called
Noreen back and I asked her to check me. She could
stretch me to a ten but my water was still intact.
I asked her if she would break the water and she
said if that is what I wanted she would do it.
The next day Noreen came over to check us and she
let me know that she had made a decision not to tell
me that there had been a small amount of meconium
in the
water. She felt that it was such a small amount that it was nothing to worry
about and chose not to tell us because she thought I didn’t need the extra
worry. She felt afterward that she should tell me and she wanted to know if I
felt she had made the right call. I believe that she made the right decision
and have no hard feelings for her for making this decision.
Anyways back to the story. My water was broken at 7:00pm and things started to
pick up after that. Contractions were lasting longer and I couldn’t talk
through them anymore. Mark sat beside me at times holding my hand and letting
me know that I was doing a great job. He did make a comment to everybody that
he couldn’t believe how well I was doing because when we had Mickayla I
couldn’t cope with the contractions at all and I was only 2cms. Noreen
and my doulas reprimanded him and said if he didn’t watch out he was going
to get kicked. I felt like I was in my own little world but yet I knew when he
made this comment and I knew when people left the room. This was a weird feeling
for me. Shortly after 9:00 pm it was time to push. Throughout this whole time
Noreen would check Cody’s heartbeat and he did great all through the labor.
I found the pushing to be very overpowering. My body just took over and I couldn’t
help but push with the contractions. When pushing started Mark chose to go watch
as Cody came out. Noreen kept her hand down at my vagina so I would have something
to push against. At one point she got up and moved away and I was very distraught
but she quickly came back. I told her I felt like it was tearing but she said
that it was just the baby’s’ head coming out and I wasn’t tearing.
I felt like I couldn’t do it anymore and told them all that that was it
I wasn’t pushing anymore. Noreen told me that it was too late and baby
was coming whether I wanted it to or not. I can’t remember who told me
that the head was out but they said touch your baby. I shook my head and said
no but Noreen grabbed my hand and had me touched Cody’s’ head. I
am so glad she did because it was a wonderful experience to feel his head. I
felt that it really gave me a sense that yes I actually was birthing this baby.
When he was pulled up to my chest I think I was in
shock I just looked at him and he was so perfect.
We rubbed his back as he wasn’t breathing right
away but it didn’t take long for him to let out a cry. I put my head back
on the pool closed my eyes and just held him and revealed in how it good it felt
to have my baby on my naked chest. It was truly the best feeling in the world.
It is funny because I don’t think I cried and I was sure that I would.
But as I write this story and think about it now I start to cry and cannot see
the computer to type.
I got out of the pool and the first thing I said
to the midwife is, “You
are going to want me to lie down now, aren’t you.”(All through the
pregnancy I hated lying on my back) Noreen said I don’t make you do anything
you don’t want to do. I lied down anyway because she wanted to check to
see if I had any tears. Mark held Cody for a long time and phoned people to let
them know we had had the baby. Everybody just could not believe that we had had
him at home. I sat on the coach just watching Mark hold him and just could not
believe that I actually had delivered him all on my own. After resting for a
bit and having something to eat it was my turn to hold him. He latched on like
a pro, another great experience as the other times I was so drugged up that I
do not remember the first nursing experiences. There were so many things that
made this birth an awesome experience but the last one that day was when everybody
left and Mark and I went upstairs to our bed and gazed at our son for the next
hour or so until we decided that we should get some sleep because we may not
get any for a very long time.
This has been a long journey for both Mark and I
but I wouldn’t change
a thing. I learned so much about myself from each of my births. I have grown
spiritually in my faith and know that God is in control of my life. I have learned
that everything that happens is for a purpose. My cesareans at the time were
very tough on me physically and emotionally but I have chosen to take what I
have learned and become a Doula to help others have the birth that God intended
them to have. One day, God willing, I hope that my dream of becoming a midwife
will come true.
 Many
thanks go out to our friends for their prayers and concern over the past
year and a half. Thank you to Mitzi and Laura (our
doulas) for their constant
support during this pregnancy and especially during labor. Thank you to our
midwife Noreen Walker for her reassurance through
this pregnancy and labor. But most
of all a special thank you to my husband Mark for believing and trusting
to in me to lead us to having this special opportunity
to have Cody at home.
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